asgardchrysalis | o2; Discovery [Closed]

Entry tags:

o2; Discovery [Closed]

Who: Ariadne (

dataset)
What: Talking about mission stuff
When: April 2
Where: Ariadne's Garden
Warnings: Tiniest bit of blood, Potential Game Spoilers.

It was natural for him to look into strange matters and investigate them. In this case, he had been given something new to investigate involving a strange occurrence with the local lake. The details were sparse. He only knew that the lake exhibited some type of ...abnormality.

The best approach was to interview the witness who initially reported the incident before looking into matters further. In this case, the witness happened to be someone he was casually familiar with: Ariadne. Ariadne said that she could usually be found in her garden, so Connor headed there first to see if she was available for a few questions.

He ducked under a branch and stepped into the garden he had been to a few times before, careful to avoid any of the newly budding strawberry plants. "Ariadne?" It had become a habit to look up into the tree branches overhead first in case she was perched up there.

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"I know you are," she said, giving him a bit of a smile. "But the thing of it is...however you want to explain it...I died."

Maybe he'd assume it was just a really bad coma. It didn't really matter to her if he accepted the notion of resurrection or not. That wasn't the point, anyway. What had happened happened. And it was now, in the aftermath of it, that the real work began.

She whet her lips, giving him a thoughtful look. "May I ask you something? You don't have to answer, if you don't want, I'm just curious. And I think it may help frame the conversation a little bit." She paused, taking a deep breath because she was actually a little nervous to ask him something so personal. "Do you have any...regrets? In life, I mean."

Explaining what she had experienced without concluding that she had died was his intention. There were also issues aside from death, like the fire, which had yet to be resolved.

But it seemed that there was something bothering her which she hadn't yet eluded to: Regrets. It was logical that 'death' would potentially force someone to confront the idea of regrets in their life. Perhaps that was why she had brought it up.

Motivation aside, Connor stilled at the question. If he answered and was asked to elaborate on it, then he would have to explain everything. Everything. If he redirected the question then he could potentially avoid the situation altogether.

It was a very intentional decision when he nodded and said "Yes. I do."

She sensed the kind of trust that he was investing in her, with his answer. It was a difficult question to answer. And even more difficult one to answer honestly. Of course, her natural curiosity meant that she really, really, really wanted to know more about those regrets. Part of the puzzle that was Connor.

But friends weren't puzzles and she wouldn't treat him as such.

All she did was nod. "So, you understand, then. How being faced with your own mortality can make someone start cataloging all of those regrets."

Connor gave her a middling answer. "Those faced with their own mortality tend to look back on their lives and think about what they wish they would have done differently if given the chance."

Which lead to the reason he was being guided down this specific line of questioning. He tapped the tips of his fingers together idly as he carefully broached the subject she was eluding to. "Is that what you were thinking about in the cave? That you wished certain circumstances in your life could have been different?"

"You can't change the circumstances of your life. You can't change the past. That's outside of your control. I think it was the lack of a future that got to me."

Ariadne wasn't sure if that made any sense. But she couldn't clarify it well. Mostly because she was only beginning to put her feelings into words now. There had been no point in talking about it with Jim and the others. They had to deal with their own feelings. Ariadne wasn't going to burden them with hers, not in what they thought might be their last moments.

Perhaps it was wrong to burden Connor too. But he seemed eager to fix her. He needed to understand, she supposed.

"I never thought I had any regrets," she continued. "Now, I feel like I'm a bit haunted. By the life I never led."

It was strange how she talked about her life as if it had ended despite being presently alive. Like she had truly lost something intangible in the cave. It was perplexing.

If she was struggling with that loss in the same way that humans struggled with loss, then he didn't need to remind her that she could still do those things she hadn't done.

Connor looked off. "Can I ask a personal question, Ariadne?" His intention to ask about her life she wanted to lead was almost implied given that was her last statement, but it was polite social etiquette to ask beforehand.

"Of course," Ariadne said.

She was trying to live honestly. It was...liberating, in a lot of ways. But a lot of that, she figured, was luck. She'd lucked out to find herself in a place where no one feared Alastrians. And she'd lucked out, finding people who were as tolerant and open-minded as she tried to be.

For the life of her, she couldn't think of anything Connor could ask that she wouldn't want to answer.

If he did, she supposed she could just lie.

But she doubted that would be necessary.

The last time he had asked whether or not it was all right to ask a personal question, she hesitated and seemed cautious. This time, he had an immediate positive response. Connor quietly took note of the difference.

He glanced back. "When you were considering the life you would be unable to lead, what were the things you regretted not doing?”

At that, she actually laughed a little bit. "A lot of things," she said. "I've never been on a ship. Or danced on a table. Never eaten a coconut. Been kissed. Pierced my ears. Ridden a hot air balloon. Had a pet. Been to a wedding..."

She trailed off.

"These all sound pretty small, don't they? Hardly worth regretting."

But she did. She regretted them so much. And more.

Small things built up to bigger things. That was the nature of existence.

Connor wasn't certain what he was expecting to hear, but his eyebrows raised as the list of regrets continued. "Oh." It actually struck him as a bit.. funny. In the midst of mortal peril, she took the time to consider things that others might take for granted. He cracked a small smile and let out a huff of air through his nose in place of a laugh. "I think that list is... nice, Ariadne."

"I could probably go on," she admitted. "I think of things all the time now. Now that I think that...there might not be time for all of these things later."

There might not be a later.

She could only put off living so much. But then again, it wasn't entirely in her control, was it? You had to be invited to a wedding. You had to find someone with a hot air balloon.

Ariadne shrugged. "Do you have a list?"

The smile was quick to fade back to neutrality. "No." He had been confronted with his own mortality before, as much as Androids could confront mortality. If he was destroyed, there was the everpresent knowledge that he would be replaced without another thought. Even then, he never thought of anything he wanted to do if given the chance because it was so outside the realm of possibility. "I've never considered having a future."

It didn't surprise Ariadne that much. Not given what she knew about Connor. Not considering the way Androids seemed to be viewed, treated in his world.

In some ways, they were very much like Alastrians.

"Maybe we should both make lists," she said. "And then see how many of those things we can do. I'm sure some of it would be possible in Asgard."

"If I were to make a list, then..." Connor put a hand to his chin.

After living in servitude for others it felt strangely selfish to list personal desires for the future. Androids having 'wants' was a specific deviant behavior, another facet of free will he was still trying to become accustomed to.

"I'd like to watch a basketball game with Hank," He admitted. It was the very first thing that came to mind which felt like doing. It was definitely not something that could be accomplished in Asgard.

What else?

"And I would also like to have a dog." That one seemed like such a large and difficult thing to ask for considering he had no way of taking care of a pet. They needed food and care that the city might not have available.

"I'm not sure if either of those things can be accomplished in Asgard." He'd only listed two things, it was difficult for someone who had never wanted anything to start wanting things.

Ariadne's smile stretched from ear to ear, eyes flashing like coins. "Of course you could have a dog!" she said. "Lots of people have been adopting pets around here. One of the gods--I think it was Honir--started creating domesticated animals for Asgard, a few months ago. Probably just before you got here. I bet, if you asked him, he could give you a dog."

There was a delightful sense of accomplishment in being able to actually facilitate something. Of course, the actual follow-through was up to Connor. But Ariadne suddenly felt a lot better about the world.

"I don't know about basketball," she continued. "But if you can get enough people who want to learn what that is, I'm sure they'd want to play it." In all fairness, between moments of true terror, there was a lot of boredom. "That also seems like something Honir might like.""

Unfortunately, there was no easy fix to the 'with Hank' part. She supposed anyone had the potential to become a Wanderer, but there was no controlling that potential.

The absurdity of someone being capable of creating animals aside, he did entertain the idea for... a brief moment before logic got the better of him. "I don't have the means to care for an animal." He reasoned. Where would he get food? How would it get medical attention in Asgard? He didn't have money to buy any of those things. Connor didn't eat, so he as unfamiliar with the process by which other people got food for themselves, let alone animals.

"I'm not sure what means you mean," she said. Admittedly, she wasn't exactly the voice of experience when it came to animals. She'd never had a pet of her own. And the horses in the stable and she had a bit of a mutual understanding. They left each other alone. It was better that way.

Still, the horses provided a logical next step.

"I'm sure whatever you'd need would be in the stables. They're meant for caring for animals, after all."

“The stables don’t belong to me. I can’t just take whatever I want.” At least, it made sense that he couldn’t. He still felt on edge borrowing the clothes that were provided for free. “As it stands, I don’t have a way to get food for them or money to buy things they might need.”

"Connor...the stables belong to all of us." At least, that was her impression of the way things worked here. Food. Shelter. Clothing. All of it had been readily available. True, Ariadne was a thief and was used to just taking things but...

Well, this was different.

"If you're uncomfortable, I'm sure you could just ask. Maybe Jim. He likes to work with the horses."

Being included with the general population was still such a foreign concept that he disconnected that ‘all of us’ meant him as well. Surely, he would have to ask.

“I’ll consider it.” Though he didn’t sound terribly convinced. It still seemed like a rather unattainable goal from someone so unfamiliar with the process.

She shook her head. "If I've learned nothing else from what happened in the cave...it's that there may not always be time in the future."

Which she didn't mean to say in a dour sort of way. Just that...well...there was no point in putting off things.

And getting a dog seemed to be a fairly simple matter in Asgard, if the other people around her were anything to judge by.

"We have to just...go for the things we want."

He understood what she was trying to say, but given how he was so unaccustomed to doing things for his own benefit, he doubted it would be something he would regret if it came to that.

In an effort not to address it, he redirected the conversation away from himself like he always did the topic was not in his favor. “Which implies you’re going to start immediately on your list?”

Ariadne frowned a little. He had her there. Just a little bit, anyway. "That's the idea, I guess," she said. "Although I'm not really sure how to begin on any of it."

So many of the things involved the other people around her.

It wasn't like she could coerce them into throwing an event that she wanted to attend.

Fortunately - or maybe unfortunately - performing tasks for others was Connor's forte. Though some of the tasks on her list relied on circumstances out of his control, others were just execution of simple instructions. "I'm certain I could find some of the items on your list." He offered as a starting point.

"You keep trying to help me and I keep trying to help you and we're getting nowhere," she said. Amused, of course. Not irritated. She couldn't possibly be irritated with Connor. At least, she hoped she never found anything to be irritated about in him.

People were full of surprises.

"We're going to help each other to death."

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