Open, honest relationships with one another. Married.
John doesn't honestly know what to feel about Jim's description of his world, truth be told. He's happy for these people, of course he is. That there should be such a place, where they do not have to live in the fear and violence he has known himself. But -- yes, there is a jealousy there too.
"That will never be my life, James," John says, meeting the other man's eyes sadly. "It never has, and it never will. Mr Fraser and I -- we made up, though it took us years in the process, and he still holds the balance of our relationship in his hands. That is not to say he is the only man I have ever fallen for, nor are you." He glances down at his hands, curled tightly around Gustav's leash, and the bright sapphire ring twinkling merrily back at him.
"But Hector died at Culloden," he continues, much to his chagrin, "and Stephan is a Landgrave and has the children to think of. And Percy..." His hands tighten at the mere memory of Perseverance. "Percy is on the run. Last I heard it was Italy. And if he returns to London I do suppose they will hang him for certain this time."
He heaves a deep sigh, settling into this particular bout of honesty, before glancing back at Jim. "So I suppose you might say it is a pattern, in my life. I don't think I ever expected much to come of our relations, though I am sorry they have had to come to an end. But I cannot simply switch off my affection for you, James. Are you certain that does not trouble you?"
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John doesn't honestly know what to feel about Jim's description of his world, truth be told. He's happy for these people, of course he is. That there should be such a place, where they do not have to live in the fear and violence he has known himself. But -- yes, there is a jealousy there too.
"That will never be my life, James," John says, meeting the other man's eyes sadly. "It never has, and it never will. Mr Fraser and I -- we made up, though it took us years in the process, and he still holds the balance of our relationship in his hands. That is not to say he is the only man I have ever fallen for, nor are you." He glances down at his hands, curled tightly around Gustav's leash, and the bright sapphire ring twinkling merrily back at him.
"But Hector died at Culloden," he continues, much to his chagrin, "and Stephan is a Landgrave and has the children to think of. And Percy..." His hands tighten at the mere memory of Perseverance. "Percy is on the run. Last I heard it was Italy. And if he returns to London I do suppose they will hang him for certain this time."
He heaves a deep sigh, settling into this particular bout of honesty, before glancing back at Jim. "So I suppose you might say it is a pattern, in my life. I don't think I ever expected much to come of our relations, though I am sorry they have had to come to an end. But I cannot simply switch off my affection for you, James. Are you certain that does not trouble you?"