INTRO LOG + SKADI CURSE.

[asgardmods]

FEBRUARY INTRO LOG( FEB 16TH & 17TH ) february 16 ↴ INTRO: NEW WANDERERS' ARRIVAL! Our batch of new Wanderers wake this morning, as all new Wanderers have before, on a plush bed with a mild but lingering sense of recent disorientation. Frigg greets them as per normal, though rather than outright escorting Wanderers to the front doors this time, she and Sigyn allow the Wanderers time and space to leave their bed, meet the pantheon, and even depart the palace at their own pace - but not without a warning. All Wanderers must choose a deity to tether to before dawn the next day, or else one of the gods will choose them. This is of grave importance, as that's precisely how long the magic giving them form is able to last untethered before the Mother's own magic overwhelms it. (Though the gods are more than willing to allow Wanderers to leave, it's worth noting that many a castle servant - natives, born in this land - might see fit to intercede and insist on the choosing of a god before Wanderers step off the Gladsheim Palace grounds.) Stepping outside, you're greeted by an almost bright and sunny day... Undermined thoroughly by a sharp, biting wind that permeates any small gap in your clothing. I bet the gods might give you a sweater, if you ask. It probably won't even look that absurd, depending on which one you ask. A trail of what seems like stringless balloons float at eye level from just outside the palace door, guiding Wanderers down the path to a notice board just outside the palace grounds. On this notice board, Wanderers find a brief handwritten guide to accessing the city map on their cuffs, specifically denoting the little colored house icons ( ⌂ ) to help Wanderers make their way to each god's housing. Also on this board appear to be a variety of job listings, for those who want to get more involved in Asgard as a whole. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? There's more than enough time for that once you've chosen a god to tether to in the first place. february 17 ↴ GOD CURSE: CHARACTER-BUILDING WITH SKADI. The storm brewing within Skadi is hardly a secret. She was impatient during the gods' supposedly unanimous address, and in the days to follow, Sigyn (with all her desperately good intentions) tried to balm the irritation but only abraded the goddess further still. She attended the Wanderers' arrival purely by the letter of her duty and swept back out the doors as soon as that duty released her, and since then she's been holed up in her temple, her pointy-faced statues positioned just outside as sentinels meant to intimidate mortals away. They dared to tell her that she does nothing. Nothing for the Wanderers, that is. Nothing to help them grow and self-actualize, as if these 'Wanderers' are so much more important than Asgard itself, which weakens by the day as her fellow gods fling their magic about to overprotect the Wanderers, or even to satisfy their whims. The consensus to draw back some of that wasteful protection would have pleased her, if she weren't so thoroughly fixated on the slight that preceded it. They want her to help the Wanderers self-actualize? So be it. There's no better way, truly, than to confront and overcome the ways in which you're flawed. So the morning after arrival day, many Wanderers wake up with a stinging, itching spot somewhere on their body. Maybe their arm, maybe their back, maybe their throat. In that spot, as it turns out, is a set of words in a deep ruddy brown (almost like old blood) under their skin as if tattooed in place. But these aren't just any words - they prey directly into the Wanderer's fears, their regrets, their insecurities, and their mistakes. They're facing down some of the worst things they've ever thought or feared about themselves. The other gods, of course, are eager and willing to try to relieve the poor Wanderers of these cursed marks... but they find that it's not quite so easy. Wanderers who seek a god's removal of the words find that not only do the words remain, but a new set appears: Flees the truth. But that's fine = For most Wanderers, these words disappear on their own in a day or two. A handful of unlucky souls find that their marks linger indefinitely, or seem to disappear but return at truly inopportune occasions down the line. MOD NOTES This is the February intro log and Skadi's curse, our mini-event for this month! Skadi's curse is is entirely opt-in - not all Wanderers are affected - and is detailed more fully in the 'This Month's Events' section of the February Bulletin, and you're welcome to direct any follow-up questions to the Bulletin's mod questions top-level. You've also likely noticed that god jobs are now live! The listings themselves can be found here (same link as within the 'arrival' prompt), with a brief FAQ featured over here.

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[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian's eyes settle on his knuckles, stark white despite all his efforts not to squeeze down on his own bones. It's not as if it was a selfless act. Jiang Cheng would have died without a core, if not immediately, then after years of wasting. And Jiang Yanli would have died of a broken heart instead of a pierced one. Wei Wuxian wanted his family. He wanted his brother. And he had a way.

It wasn't selfless.

"Because he has mine, Lan Zhan."

[lan_wangji]

His first thought, his immediate first thought is a memory. He remembers demanding that Wei Ying tell him the truth, remembers demanding in that inn after they'd found Wei Ying after three months that he tell Lan Wangji what had happened.

He'd thought Wei Ying was being reckless, overconfident. He'd thought Wei Ying had chosen path of demonic cultivation merely because he could.

"How?" he grates out, leaning forward as if he'd been stabbed, stomach turning at the implications, at the way it made so much more sense than anything has up until now. "How? How?"

[yiling_laozu]

Lan Zhan looks so colorless and awful that Wei Wuxian throws out a hand, catching his shoulder before he lists any closer. "Wen Qing," he answers shortly. "I begged her. She didn't want to, but after many days of coming to her on my knees, she helped us."

There are so many things to regret, but Wei Wuxian won't have a one of them landing at her feet. "She saved his life, which is all I ever wanted. Don't be angry with her."

[lan_wangji]

The scar. That long, precise scar. It would have had to have been pulled out, cut out. Wei Ying had his core cut out of his belly and told no one. He cut his most vital part out and handed it over and told no one.

Lan Zhan remembers asking about Suibian time and time again, remembers begging and cajoling about the use of demonic cultivation. He remembers thinking Wei Ying was simply being prideful.

What must have that felt like, to have your core ripped from your body?

All these years, all these years and all these months together and Lan Zhan had not known. His stomach lurches, a sensation he has not felt since he was a small child and simply willed himself never to retch again makes itself known and in an instant he is stumbling to his feet and out the door, the meager contents of his stomach emptying into the grass.

[yiling_laozu]

"Lan Zhan." The words eke from Wei Wuxian's throat, and he gets unsteadily to his feet, following Lan Zhan before he's told his feet to move. His hands cramp, their need to reach out and comfort denied again and again, for it's he who has done this harm. It doesn't make sense that he can also calm it.

The sound of Lan Zhan being sick curdles in his own stomach, and for a lack of better ideas Wei Wuxian sits down hard, fingers straying not for the first time to day to his belly to try and rub away the words. "Please don't," he whispers, hating himself for putting yet another burden on Lan Zhan, but he can't bear to see his pain. "Lan Zhan, please, please don't hurt."

[lan_wangji]

"I thought you were being wreckless," he moans, years and years of confusion clearing moment by moment, horrible new threads connecting memories he'd spent years trying to illuminate.

"They vilified you. I, I snapped at you. I lectured you. And you -," he breathes finally looking up at Wei Ying in horror and shame. "You tore your magic out. You, you endured all of us. Wei Ying."

[yiling_laozu]

"I didn't want you to feel this," says Wei Wuxian quietly, reaching for the edge of his robe on the bed. He shrugs into it, wrapping it tight around his torso. "Any of you. And so we lied to Jiang Cheng about how his core was returned to him. The Wens caught me when I was waiting for him to come back from the mountain. They threw me into the Burial Mounds. Without resentful energy, I wouldn't have survived."

Wei Wuxian clutches his own elbows. "I knew what you all thought about it, but I wanted to live, Lan Zhan."

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan stumbles over, seeing Unworthy out out the corner of his eye and knowing now more than ever that is is true.

None of them were worthy of this man.

"I am so sorry," he says, clutching at Wei Ying's arms. "We were wrong. We were ignorant and wrong. Forgive me."

[yiling_laozu]

"There is nothing to forgive," answers Wei Wuxian, looking into Lan Zhan's miserable eyes. He reaches forward despite Lan Zhan's grip to touch his cheek, trying to smooth the grimace from his handsome face. "I didn't want anyone to know. And you were right to be fearful. Wielding resentful energy was bearable. Wielding Yin metal was not. If I have regrets about cultivating the way I did, it's not letting that metal go before it was too late."

[lan_wangji]

"So many years," Lan Zhan murmurs half to himself, eyes falling shut as let's his face rest against Wei Ying's hand.

"Wei Ying suffered alone all this time. Did not think my opinion of you could get any higher yet daily you find new ways to increase it. It must have been terrible. Cannot fathom it."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. "It wasn't what I wanted, but it wasn't terrible. We struggled in Yiling, but we were content enough. I could have lived that life in enough peace to be happy."

It hadn't been until the Wen clan was taken from him, grandmothers and elderly uncles hung from Lanling walls, that life truly became unbearable. In truth, Wei Wuxian can barely remember it - there is only fury and grief in those memories, hate so thick he could taste it in his mouth like blood.

[lan_wangji]

"Not, not that," Lan Zhan manages, although now he is imagining living in that dark place with no core, no warmth, no defense other than the same dark magic crawling over those bones. To be thrown in there after such a procedure, alone?

He has to snap himself out of those thoughts lest he lose his stomach yet again.

"This," he says, pressing his hand against Wei Ying's belly. "This must have hurt. This must have been terrible. Cannot imagine how it felt."

[yiling_laozu]

"Ah." Wei Wuxian folds his hand over Lan Zhan's, glad for the robe newly covering him and those awful words. It had been painful, yes, but even moreso is the knowledge that even this wasn't enough to make his brother love him.

"It was," he says simply, unwilling to say just how terrible, those two days filled with enough agony to rob any man of reason. To this day, Wei Wuxian is certain that only Wen Ning's words of comfort had kept him sane.

[lan_wangji]

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he murmurs, folding forward to grab Wei Ying's waist and kiss his covered belly, right over the scar he's spent so long worrying and wondering about.

"Love you, Wei Ying. I love you. I love you," he repeats against the warm fabric, fingers clutching at him as he presses his forehead against Wei Ying's stomach. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry we thought those things."

[yiling_laozu]

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian breathes as he clutches at him, nearly undone, and Hanguang-Jun is not a man who should ever be laid so low. He tugs at him until he's upright, climbing into his lap after to throw both arms around his neck. "It's alright," he says into his dark hair. "It's alright, it wasn't so long ago for you, but it was a lifetime ago for me. Don't be sorry. I love you, don't be sorry."

[lan_wangji]

"Those words are all a lie," he hisses, gathering Wei Ying as close as he can, wishing he could always keep him like this, away from anything and everything that would hurt him even more.

"Not a lifetime ago if you believe those words. Wei Ying, you are good. You're so good. You taught Lan Wangji what good was."

[yiling_laozu]

"They're not a lie," Wei Wuxian murmurs. "I did leave you, I did lose my family, and Jiang Cheng does hate me," he says, voice wobbling for the last. "I don't know why this place wants me to wear words I already know are true, but it isn't so terrible anymore, Lan Zhan. We're together. Nothing can be so terrible if I have you."

[lan_wangji]

"Not your fault," he breathes, kissing Wei Ying's hair, his temple, his neck, anything he can reach without letting go of his tight hold.

He knows it will not make a difference, perhaps never will make a difference. Nothing Wei Ying says can convince him his own words are untrue but he truly believes Wei Ying's are wrong. Believes it now after this revelation more than ever. Lan Zhan's pride and lack of conviction led to his words, Wei Ying's sacrifices and goodness led to his.

"Wei Ying has me for as long as he wants me. Have been Wei Ying's for years. Have ever only been Wei Ying's."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian breathes out, tucking a smile against Lan Zhan's shoulder. "I know," he says. "I was foolish for a very long time but I know that now. And I'm happy in this strange world with you," he promises. "Despite all the attacks, and the enchanted snow, and that demonic tree, I'm happy here. I love our home and our little paddy."

Wei Wuxian pulls back to look at him. "This is the best my life has ever been, truly."

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan nods, keeping one arm wrapped around Wei Ying's back while he pushes Wei Ying's hair away from his face.

"Best my life has been," he agrees, leaning into to kiss Wei Ying's cheek. "Happiest I've been. Like his life, like our home. I like who I am with you much better than who I was."

He loves this house, built from Wei Ying's careful planning, before he even knew what they could be to each other. He loves their paddy, Lan Zhan's desperate outlet for his feelings. He loves their bunnies.

[yiling_laozu]

"You smile so much now," Wei Wuxian tells him, tracing Lan Zhan's bottom lip to the edge which curls so often now. "Even running after me into danger all the time, you are lighter." And Lan Zhan has always been stunning, but now he is simply gorgeous, so lovely that Wei Wuxian would kiss him right now if he hadn't so recently been sick.

"This place is good to us, and we are good to each other."

[lan_wangji]

"Mm, Wei Ying is very good to Lan Zhan," he says, looking around at the careful woodwork and decorations starting to come together in their house. These little details that Wei Ying had worked so hard to design, to make this place a home in ways Lan Zhan would never understand how to do.

"Anything you want, I will give you," he says, looking back at Wei Ying's perfect, nearly otherworldly lovely face. "Anything Wei Ying desires, anything Wei Ying ever wants, anything at all. Want and love all of you."

[yiling_laozu]

"Well then," says Wei Wuxian once Lan Zhan meets his eyes again.

"I want a son. One I get to see grow this time."

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan blinks, not expecting that answer but thinking on it, nonetheless. Anything Wei Ying wants, he said and he meant.

"Am certain Asgard has orphans," he says slowly, wondering how difficult it is to convince the Gods to simply give them a baby. Surely the Gods would have this authority? His mind, rapidly filling with logistics and practicalities has reserved a small corner to simply imagine it. Imagine Wei Ying with a child, teaching him as he has done with Lan Yuan.

"Can find you a son, if Wei Ying desires. Can ask."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian laughs, delighted by the lack of hesitation of Lan Zhan's part, though perhaps he ought to temper him. Lan Zhan is very intense when he chooses to be. "They don't actually grow out of the earth like radishes," he says.

"But, if we do come across a child on their own, boy or girl, we could help them, couldn't we? We'll have a proper home soon. Life is very unkind to children on their own, Lan Zhan."